You’ve lost that trusting feeling

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You’ve lost that trusting feeling trust

Do you ever get that uneasy feeling in your gut when you don’t trust someone…but can’t quite put your finger on the actual concern?  At work, it may be that you trust a colleague to undertake a task for you but you would not trust them with confidential or personal information – can you say categorically you don’t trust them?

We recently had a conversation with someone where they explained that after several years of working with their line manager they felt as if they did not fully trust them…but could not articulate why.  We used The Trust Equation (ref: Charles H Green – http://trustedadvisor.com) to help explore why they were feeling this way:

TEQ

  • Credibility is about what is said – the words used. How believable are we?
  • Reliability relates to our actions – can we be counted upon to do what we say we are going to do? Are actions follow through?
  • Intimacy considers how safe people feel sharing information – will clients or colleagues answer deep and relevant questions to help us better understand their needs or issues? What do people feel about us?
  • Self Interest refers to where our focus is – is it on ourselves or on our client/colleague. Will we work together towards common goals, or is there more focus on what the relationship can do for us?

It suddenly became clear to them! They liked their line manager as a person and outwardly they was supportive – but they had been making false promises about their future role and rewards (all talk and no action as they say).  The line manager was more interested in furthering their own role and needs (self-orientation).

If you work as an external consultant/supplier, building trust with clients is key to maintaining and enjoying long term relationships.  At the start of a new relationship trust has to be earned – by demonstrating we understand the challenges faced (Credibility) and following through on what we say we are going to do (Reliability).  Some clients are more willing to share confidential information as they become more trusting of the relationship (Intimacy).  But the key component is to work as partners and not put your needs before theirs.  This takes time – but it is an investment worth making.

As a leader/manager, having trusting relationships with your team members is crucial to your success.  If you ever ask someone ‘do you trust me’ and they hesitate, then this may be sign there are some issues.

Consider some of your existing relationships using the Trust Equation – does this highlight anything new for you?

 

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